Frodo meets....US!!!
by Jecca
Summary: Just a stupid story in which Frodo Baggins Meets me and my 2 friends w/ some odd surprises please r and r!!!!


{Attention all seriously afflicted readers: If you are one of the 7,569,457 people who suffer from Jeccaphobia please refrain from reading this story.We have warned you now.Explicit Jecca content is found within this fucked up tale. Remember you have been warned}  
  
It was a chilly, stormy night. I had just settled down in my living room to read my newest book, "The Scarlet Letter." The power had gone out so I'd had to light some candles. Around 3 AM was when I heard it. It sounded as if a table had fallen over upstairs. I was home by myself and my cat was asleep at my feet, so I became a bit scared. I quickly grabbed my baseball bat from the coat closet and made my way quietly, but quickly upstairs. I opened my bedroom door slowly and carefully, looking around. I saw on the floor that something had stripped the covers from my bed and had become entwined in them. I cautiously made my way over, leading with my bat. I used the bat and pulled the covers back slightly. A pair of dark blue eyes looked back at me with a scared look. I jumped back in surprise, striking the wall with my back. The little eyes soon became a small head with brown curly hair and a pale face.  
  
"Who are you." I asked.  
  
"I'm..I'm Frodo Baggins." The little person stood, kicking the sheet that had been wrapped around his ankle away. He couldn't have been more than three foot tall.  
  
"How..did you get here?" I asked, not believing this.  
  
"I'm not sure, but the fall did have an effect on my head." He rubbed the back of his head. I slowly made my way over, keeping the bat at my side. He was an adorable little thing with slightly pointed ears.  
  
"What are you?" I kneeled in front of him, becoming eye level.  
  
"Well, I'm a hobbit of course. You must be a human, I'm guessing."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"I'm Marina. C'mon, I'll get you something for that headache." I gently moved the rest of the covers from around his small body and led him downstairs.  
  
"This is a nice house. I've never seen anything like this before." He looked around like a child in a toy store.  
  
"Where're you from?" I asked, setting him on the counter in the kitchen.  
  
"The Shire." He replied, looking around with interest.  
  
The power had come on a few minutes before but I hadn't really seemed to notice.  
  
"The Shire?" I raised a brow.  
  
"Oh, um..Hobbiton." He said, eyeing my wax fruit.  
  
"Ohh.." I nodded, still not getting it but I played along. "That's not real fruit, I wouldn't.."  
  
Too late, he'd taken a bite out of the apple and it had become wedged between his upper and lower teeth. He let out a muffled cry, began flailing wildly, and I rushed over.  
  
"Please forgive me." I said, holding him with my arms until he calmed, clamping my thumb and pointer finger on his nose, and slowly edging the apple out of his mouth with my other hand.  
  
He adjusted his jaws then took a few deep breaths after I threw the apple into the garbage can.  
  
"That wasn't good fruit." He commented.  
  
"That's because it was wax." I replied.  
  
I found some Tylenol in the cabinet and looked at him, reading the back of the bottle.  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"Fifty."  
  
"You certainly don't look it." I said, loosening the cap.  
  
"Hobbits age differently than humans. How old are you, Marina?"  
  
"20."  
  
He smiled. I handed him two Tylenols and a glass of water.  
  
"This may make you sleepy.." I warned.  
  
"My trip made me sleepy. A good night's rest would do me some good." He said, downing the pills and the entire glass of water.  
  
"C'mon, I'll make you a bed to stay on."  
  
"I'd much rather stay with you." He had those little eyes I couldn't refuse.  
  
I nodded and helped him off of the counter and walked back to the livingroom with him. I sat in my recliner chair in the corner and he hopped up into my lap.  
  
"Do you mind?" He asked, shifting slightly until he was comfortable.  
  
"No.." I said. I picked up my book and he burrowed his face into my neck, wrapping his arms slightly around me.  
  
"Good night, Marina." He whispered, falling asleep.  
  
"Good night." I said, beginning to read again.  
  
Tomorrow, I will discover that this wasn't real, and I will have a hell of a dream to tell Amanda about.  
  
The next morning, I awoke to some pressure on my chest. I looked down and Frodo's head was resting on my chest and his arms were around my waist, he was sound asleep.  
  
Sweet hell it wasn't a dream! Shut up, you silly girl, you're still dreaming! WAKE UP DAMN YOU! I'm not waking up...shit..it's real..  
  
I gently woke him by touching his shoulder. He looked up at me, yawning.  
  
"Is it morning already?"  
  
"Yes.." I stood, setting him off of me onto the couch. "Stay here.." I walked into the kitchen and quickly dialed Amanda's phone number. It rang several times then a groggy voice came onto the other line.  
  
"ello?"  
  
"Amanda..it's me."  
  
"Marina, it's 8 AM, go back to bed."  
  
"No, no Amanda, don't hang up." I said, keeping my voice low.  
  
"What is it? If this is about your neighbor.."  
  
"No, there's something I need to show you, please come over right away."  
  
"Can't you just tell me?"  
  
"No, you'd never believe me, just get over here as soon as possible."  
  
"Fine, but it better be worth it, Ewan was fixing to kiss to me."  
  
"You'll have other dreams." I said, hanging up.  
  
An hour later, Amanda showed up.  
  
"Now what is this? What is so important it couldn't.."  
  
I stepped back, showing her the sleeping Frodo on my couch.  
  
"A kid? You adopted a kid?"  
  
"Look closer.."  
  
"You adopted a kid and put pointy ears on it?"  
  
"He's a hobbit you dumbass!" I said, in a loud whisper.  
  
"A hobbit?? Where's your medication?"  
  
"I'm serious!"  
  
She walked over to Frodo and sat down in front of the couch.  
  
"I'm not believing this, Marina."  
  
She gently touched him and he moved slightly, turning over, facing her.  
  
"Aww!" She smiled.  
  
He slowly opened his eyes and began screaming at the fact that someone other than me was in his face.  
  
"Frodo, calm down this is my friend, Amanda."  
  
Frodo was now on the back of the couch, sitting behind the curtains, trembling.  
  
"Great.." I sighed.  
  
{ If you did not pay any attention to the warning at the beginning,dumbass! this is where you should definitely stop reading. Jecca content begins here. We are not responsible for you! We are in no way liable for any mental catastrophes that occurred from reading this. We put a warning label and your dumb ass didn't have the sense to read it}  
  
Without any warning, a loud bang came from the foyer at the front door. A tremendous "whoop" sounded and a tall curly headed figure came bounding into the room followed by a trail of cats and pigs. After Amanda shooed the animals out of the room and back outside and Marina had coaxed Frodo out from behind the curtains, they sat down beside the Rare Jecca on the couch.  
  
"Well, folks, what have we got here?" said the Jecca.  
  
The Jecca reached out to pet the short one but it flinched and moved away. "Temperamental little bugger ain't it?" muttered the Jecca.  
  
The Jecca stood wiped her nose on her sleeve and turned away.  
  
"Have fun with the hairy toed one, I'm late for my Rickman licking appointment." She climbed out the window and left.  
  
Frodo stood and walked over to the door, after hearing screaming. Alan Rickman was running down the street from Jecca as she followed him with a Cool-Whip bowl. He turned to Marina with a questionable look, she simply replied, "She's Jecca." Frodo nodded and shut the door just about the time Rickman and Jecca came up to the door.  
  
"Come back, Rickman! I want to licketh you!"  
  
"NO!" Rickman screamed, pounding on the door. "Please God, NO!!!!" Sounds of scuffle are heard outside as Jecca wrestles Rickman to the ground and proceedes to apply the Cool-whip.  
  
Frodo looked on in terror at the cool whip smeared across rickmans face as Jecca lapped it up like a dog  
  
"Don't worry, we can try that later." Marina said with a smirk.  
  
Frodo's eyes widened, Amanda looked at Marina.  
  
"You scared him!"  
  
"Jecca did long before I did."  
  
Jecca wiped her mouth on her sleeve and turned to Rickman. "Same time next week?"  
  
"Of course" replied Rickman. He kneeled before her and kissed her hand, turned on his heel and left, swooshing his Hogwarts robe behind him that he had grown so very fond of.  
  
Marina turned to Jecca.  
  
"Can I borrow some of the Cool-Whip for my hobbit?"  
  
"Sure, I have a case of it in my garage." Jecca handed a case of Cool- Whip to Marina. Marina grabbed Frodo by his suspenders straps and led him upstairs with a grin on her face.  
  
"Ohh, Lord. There will be loud squeaks coming from upstairs." Amanda put her face in her hands. Jecca giggled.  
  
"That hobbit needs to learn to some discipline anyways..." The Jecca followed them saying something about extra strawberries. Amanda sighed to herself  
  
"I might as well get them the berries I'm going to be dragged into this somehow." And she trudged up the stairs after them. Muffled squeals and low giggles erupted from the bedroom  
  
Amanda feared to think what was happening to the poor little hobbit as she opened the door, she got a look of shock.  
  
Feathers floated down from the ceiling. Pillows had been ripped open in the fight. The cool whip lay long forgotten on the dresser Amanda sat down to watch Frodo and the two girls pillow fight. Once in a while dipping a strawberrie in the whip cream  
  
Jecca pinned Frodo.  
  
"Now the time has come, to deflower the hobbit."  
  
"No!" Frodo struggled.  
  
"Don't be afraid." Marina grinned wickedly.  
  
Amanda settled down in her chair expecting a good show.  
  
Jecca ripped the poor hobbits sheep wool trousers offf to show little hobbit winky smiling at them. Though his face wasn't smiling.  
  
Marina looked to Jecca "who shall go first?"  
  
"Me" Jecca said. "I hate sloppy seconds"  
  
Marina nodded and scooted over, letting Jecca have as much room as possible. Frodo looked at her as if searching for help, she just grinned.  
  
Jecca was postioning herself to begin and looking upon the hobbit as if wondering where to start on such a small being  
  
"Should I just sit on him?" she thought.  
  
There came a loud bang from downstairs. A crash up the stairs and the door smashed to the floor. In the frame stood Harry Potter.  
  
" YOU GIRLS THINK THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF FUN?? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SELVES! TREATING HIM LIKE THIS.!!! HE NEEDS A RIGHT TO CHOOSE! S.P.H.W! SOCIETY FOR THE PROTECTION OF HOBBIT WELFARE!" Frodo piped up from the bed.  
  
" Um Harry. I was sort of enjoying this. I like being taken control of" He smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Oh well in that case continue" remarked Harry and he took a seat beside Amanda. Marina suddenly pushed Jecca aside.  
  
" I want this one. You got to de-flower the last odd creature that wandered up"  
  
"Well fine" said Jecca. " I want him!!!"  
  
She grabbed Harry around the middle and Harry drew his arms around Jecca's neck.  
  
"Oh Jecca, How long I've wanted this. TAKE ME NOW JECCA!!!"" Jecca led Harry to the room next door. And were not seen for awhile. (We'll check on them later.)  
  
Soon Marina and Frodo were going at it like bunnies. Being small did not effect anything, he was still able to function properly. Amanda had supplied herself with popcorn and a large foam finger.  
  
After a small but wild ride both Marina and Frodo lay exausted on the bed. Not wanting to watch the mushy post-sex gibberish,Amanda went across the hall. What she found was somewhat disturbing. Jecca had laid Harry out across the top of the grand piano. Harry was twitching from pleasure. " Jecca give me a c #!!!"" he screamed. Jecca hit the c # on the keys beside them. When the note sounded a spasm of pleasure racked Harry's body and he clawed for Jecca. Jecca clamped her mouth down on his and resumed their activity. Jecca in charge. (oh yeah) Jecca called out Harry's name and cried " use your magic harry use your magic!!!"  
  
Harry grabbed his wand from his crumpled robes as they tumbled from the top of the piano to the floor. The pointed the wand at his umm you know, muttered "orgasmo extrodinaro" and as if it had a mind of its own set it's own rythm and pounded them into a sexual oblivion. Amanda was growing jealous because she had no one to have fun with so she walked outside. about that time, "Take me now hobbity-man!" came from upstairs along with a crash and a thud. Harry laughed.  
  
"hobbity-man?"  
  
"what about it, Wizard-boy?" Jecca asked.  
  
"Oh..i love..take me now!" and they went at it again.  
  
Everyone was well suited, Harry got up and went to go get a shower, Jecca got up and went to join him. Marina was curled up around Frodo and they were sound asleep.  
  
Amanda was sitting on the steps outside drinking out of a paper bag with an occasional hiccup she looked longingly towards the sky. " why can't I have some one" she sighed. "If only ,... if only" She begins to sing."some day my prince will come" When out of the mist at the end of the road comes a thundering of hooves. Ewan McGregor rides up on a silvery white stallion scoops her into his arms and carries her away to his Castle Erotica in the sky,  
  
They all lived happily ever after. 


End file.
